Spiraling Down
by zephyrchild
Summary: Three short ficlets. Each with a different point of view, dealing with the fallout after season 2A aired. Unbetaed.
1. Betty

Everything in her was thrumming, alive and hungry as she sought the other woman's mouth against her own. She never thought it could be this easy, this simple, all mouths and hands and desperate clutching. She'd never been this aware of her body before, parts of her that were long forgotten were alive, awake and eager.

It wasn't until it was over that she started thinking again. A thin layer of sweat on her skin and a virtual stranger in her bed. She hadn't even asked her name. She wasn't even sure she wanted to ask. She pulled away, and felt herself close off. Then the dark haired soldier reached for her feet and began to massage them.

When they finally spoke, she was unsure of herself. Unsure of exactly what this was. But more of this, she thought, couldn't possibly be a bad thing. And the woman solider reached out for her again, and whatever desire had been momentarily sated reared it's head once more.

She's like me, Betty thought looking into confident, flirtatious eyes. Then she lets herself get lost in the sheer pleasure of it all, having another's desire match her own. Perhaps she has wanted too much and waited too long. This is so very easy. And she had a woman in her bed, flushed and eager to be pleasured by her.

A while later she watches the dark haired woman creep out of her bed and begin to pull on her clothes. She flashed a smile in Betty's direction on the bed and paused just inches away from her face.

"Aren't you going to ask what my name is?"

Betty paused, she still wasn't sure she wanted to know, "What is your name?"

"My name is Teresa." She smiles and laughs, giving Betty one last kiss before she leaves to ship out. She happily hops from the bed and pulls her uniform back on.  
closing the door behind her and leaving Betty alone in the dark.

It was dark now, that much was certain. Most of the girls had returned from the festivities at Vic Mu sometime ago. The soldier had waited to leave until everyone else was in bed. She was good at this, and good at being discrete. She wondered absently if there were other girls she visited like this, she didn't really care if there were.

Then she glanced stood up to pick the clothes up off her floor and put them away. As she was folding her pants and returning to the drawer she made the mistake of glancing at her mirror. Kate's photo was still tucked into her mirror. It stung to look at so she hurriedly grabbed at the photo that caused this reaction and shoved it into the drawer with the others. An old fantasy lurks in the back of her mind and she shoves it away quickly.

Monday morning came. She was tired, much more so than she expected but she dressed for her shift regardless. But when she walked out her door she found herself face to face with Kate who'd opened her door at the exact same moment. She wasn't sure why but she couldn't quite bring herself to meet Kate's eyes. Old feelings welled up inside her at the hurt expression that briefly flitted across Kate's features. She glanced again but the redhead's features were impassive. Now was no time to go swooning and weak at the knees. She could do without Kate in her life, she had to. She had Ivan for crying out loud. She quickly pushed this thought away too, it was far too easy to picture the two of them together doing things that made her skin crawl and her stomach quiver anxiously.

She avoids Kate all the way to Vic Mu. Kate, for her part, seems unable to breech this new awkwardness between them. It's frustrating when she finds Gladys isn't on the line today. Dammit Princess, Betty thinks, I could really use some company today. Kate's at the station next to hers, but neither of them are speaking, they just do their jobs in silence. She tries not to glance at Kate's hands, but every once in a while she catches herself looking.  
She tries to flag down the shift matron for answers while working her station.  
"Mrs Corbett?"

"McRae?"

"Where's Gladys?" Lorna paused before responding, unsure of how much she should say, "Her fiancé has been killed overseas. Miss Witham is taking some time off."  
"How much time?" A bit of desperation leaked into her voice, she wasn't sure how long she could stand being alone with Kate.

Lorna merely shrugged, "Let's do our jobs girls." She called this last part out loudly.

"Poor Gladys." Kate's voice rung out next to her, it was low and sweet. Absolutely perfectly Kate. Stop it McRae, she thought to herself, stop it. It seemed her heart had it's own ideas of what she should be thinking.

"Hmm." Betty did not trust herself to speak. She choked up slightly and turned her attention back to her work.

That night she crawled into bed shortly after scrambling herself an egg. She was exhausted and needed to catch up on the sleep she'd missed the night before. Kate was out. She didn't mean to know it, she just couldn't help knowing it. Not with Kate's room directly across the hall from hers.  
She could hear Moira and Dolores shouting at each other over something in the kitchen and she tried to will herself into a dreamless sleep.

_Her face was pressed into a woman's breast, and she kissed it rocking her body into the warm one beneath hers. The pale body underneath hers was arching and shuddering in response to her touch._  
_She smiled proudly into soft skin as they rocked and moved together in the dark. _

_"Betty." A shaky whisper invaded her dream and she raised her head to look at her dream-lover to see dark copper hair and pale blue eyes. _  
_"Kate?" _

Betty shot up in bed immediately, her body still aroused from the dream. It was still dark outside. She took deep heavy breaths for a few moments. She pressed her hands over her eyes, she couldn't be dreaming like this anymore she just couldn't.


	2. Kate

Part 2: Kate

She smiled and laughed as Ivan walked her to to the door. This is what she was supposed to do. Laugh when he says something funny. Touch his arm. Play hard to get. She went over her 'lessons' again in her mind. Was she doing it right? This certainly didn't come naturally, she supposed it was the kind of thing you were meant to practice.

"Thank you so much. Dinner was grand." Kate said carefully, placing her hand on Ivan's arm.  
Ivan leaned in suddenly, she stepped back in surprise but he caught her around the waist, "I can't believe no one's ever kissed you before." His voice was gently, but his hands were firm around her waist. Firmer than when they danced until she was breathless and her feet hurt.

"Oh." Kate felt herself flush nervously. This had not been in those lessons with Marco and Betty. At any rate, Ivan didn't seem to mind. Nor was he giving her the opportunity to play hard to get at present. Ivan leaned in and his mouth made contact with hers. She stared past his head at the streetlamp. The first thing she noticed was his taste. He tasted awful. Perhaps this is just the sort of thing you have to get used to, she thought as she moved her lips under his, echoing his movements. She began to feel sort of like she was in a movie. Ivan seemed to be enjoying himself though, she must be doing it right. She continued to stare into the empty street behind him for several long moments until Ivan pulled back.

He pulled back smiling, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight Ivan." She answered with a smile and opened the door to step inside. She went to her room, where she again struggled with the lock wishing she could just knock on Betty's door to get the help she needs. She turns her key and tugs at the doorknob uselessly for a moment. Then she hears it again, a low moan and a small giggle coming from the room across the hall. It sounds sort of like the kind of sounds that she's heard from Dolores' room on the rare occasion she's snuck a soldier in there. But both voices are women. Betty is in there with another woman. And they're... well... she's not exactly sure what they are doing. But she knows she doesn't want to think about it. She bites her lip. She feels almost like she's been gutted. A slight wave of nausea comes over her. Why do I feel this way? She wonders before redirecting her attention to her lock. It finally clicks and allows her to return to her room.

She brushes her teeth several times until the taste of Ivan is finally gone from her mouth, and dresses for bed. She lies awake a long time before finally falling asleep. She turns in the sheets, they wrap around her like a cocoon. Memories float through her mind as she tries to force them out. Her father. Her mother. Her brothers. Betty.  
She thought back to that kiss, Betty certainly hadn't tasted awful. As wrong as that kiss was, it hadn't left such an awful taste in her mouth. Was her father right? Had she been corrupted by Betty? Is deviance the sort of wickedness that passes from one person to another like measles? She hoped not. She had a boyfriend now who everyone said was a very nice boy. They went dancing and to dinner. They even kissed. She must be normal. She has to be.

It didn't feel right though. None of it did. Nothing. Kate rolled restlessly in her bed and waited for sleep to take her. She felt a pang of sadness, an empty ache in her heart. Was this what it was like to miss someone? To want to save a friend from deviance? Or something else entirely?

Morning came, Kate dressed as she always did. Quickly and efficiently, never looking at herself in a mirror or even looking down. Quick nimble fingers that were adept at doing buttons rapidly. She quickly gathered her things and reached for the door, only to find herself face to face with Betty. Betty glanced at her, then walked away silently. And Kate was stuck once again struggling with her lock before running to catch the streetcar.

At Vic Mu, Betty ignores her. It makes her hurt in a way she can't quite name. She does her work, she doesn't dare sing. Not now. She tried to sing for Betty before and she'd left before she was through.

"Poor Gladys." Is the only thing that Kate Andrews says that day. She's sad for Gladys certainly, and for James' death. But there's a deeper sadness within her that she can't quite rid herself of, and she doesn't know why. But she doesn't cry. She never cries. And she doesn't make a sound.


	3. Gladys

James. Dead. It didn't seem real. None of it seemed real. She could still smell the burnt eggs. Lorna's hand patted her back soothingly. She remembered back to when she first started at the factory. When Edith's husband has been shot down and she collapsed sobbing into Lorna's arms.

The telegram was crumpled between their bodies. The last time she'd seen James he'd been terrified. Told her that he only enlisted for her. To make her happy and proud. She sobbed harder at this thought. She hadn't done right by him, she'd told him that. Guilt soaked through everything else she was feeling. But she had loved him.

"There, there." Lorna muttered.

"James is dead." She managed to say between sobs that wracked her entire body.

"He did his duty, and died. Yes." Lorna said as comfortingly as she could.

They stood there for a long time, eventually Lorna guided her to sit on the sofa as she scrambled the eggs. Gladys sat there breathing and crying, clutching the telegram in her fist.

"Here. You need to eat." Lorna pushed a plate of scrambled eggs into her hands.  
"I'm not hungry." Gladys responded. She'd never had so little to say in her life. A fork was pressed into her hand.

Lorna sighed, "You still need to eat Miss Witham."  
She reluctantly shoveled a few bites of the egg into her mouth. It didn't taste much like anything. She wondered if anything ever would again. Lorna gathered her belongings and stepped out into the hall.

For a moment it seemed that Mrs Corbett would leave, but then she turned and picked up the phone, dialing someone. A cab Gladys thought as she collapsed back on the sofa with the plate of barely picked at eggs on her lap. In other situations, she'd have listened in eagerly. But nothing seemed to matter anymore. Her bags were strewn around the room, she looked at them briefly. Where was she going to go now.

Mrs. Corbett stood out in the hall a long silent time, then left suddenly. When she returned Rollie Witham was standing beside her. He didn't try to speak to her, just looked at her with this sad look on his face. They took her bags out to the car one by one before Mrs Corbett took her by the arm and led her out to the car, like she was a child.

"I'll get you some time off from the factory." Mrs Corbett said kindly, before she finally left.

In the end the decision was made for her. And she went along, because she had nothing left to say. She found herself in her bedroom at her parents house pacing the floors or collapsed into her bed. Whatever fire used to burn in her seemed to have gone out. It didn't matter, nothing seems to matter anymore.

Neither parent was speaking to her, they were just letting her mope around the house. Living in whatever this was that she'd made out of her life. She didn't want to go to work. She didn't want to do anything.  
So she just sat, and when morning came she was called down to breakfast by the help. She went, and ate silently at the table across from her parents.

There was nothing else to do, it seemed, than to go through these old motions.


End file.
